Fall Back Mom Edition: Learning to Not Overserve

Morning girlies. Praying your day is going better than mine. Blessed to hear the birds chirp today but in a bit of pain, I took off an extra day of work praying I’m back to normal soon. I feel weird anytime. I’m out of my groove a.k.a. my schedule. (more info on health right now and health support group.)

Click Me

Our lives sometimes seems at random. If we pay attention enough or view the big picture we can see its all related. I had already planned to write this post before the medical issue sent me down. It all started with a car accident.

My daughter has been in gymnastics since 2020 going on six years. She is currently on the competition team for her fourth year on level three working on upgrades to qualify for level four this summer. I have been heavily involved in all six years. I studied judging thinking it would be a nice side job. I became team mom and held that title for three years. I love doing treats with the girls for holidays, planning events, outings, etc. working in the unseen places.

The change:

The decision to step back this summer was a result of the balance with the people I did and did not want to be involved with and to take care of my overall happiness. Changing how I could be support and serve. I often use the word I because I can only speak from my experience. And I have no problem being the example. If someone has a nice nasty attitude, negativity or a competitive spirit in an area of service you must know yourself well enough to adjust. I would say this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do because I love serving.

In learning myself and reading my Bible more, we are called to serve not overserve. Majority of the places I have stepped into have been places of need where there would automatically be overserving due to lack of volunteers, etc. Being raised in that environment led to me overserving in places where I was underappreciated often in too many arenas. We can’t give 100% to 100 places and causes. Coming to grips with seasons, magnified this self evaluation.

Example: Church

women’s ministry leader

choir

women’s Bible study group

Griefshare

greeting

Trauma group

Same Sex attraction support group

kitchen committee

assessment admin

reaching out to those I felt forgotten

disabilities ministry

church progression ministry

…….there was more but listing it out was life-changing not to mention a 1 hour drive both ways to church and

Work:

supervising

making new documents

improving things that didn’t need improvement

Home:

working on 3 to 4 businesses trying to make one take off

helping with my grandparents

writing

one thing outside of the house a day for my daughter

weight loss

What changed:

Although serving is my favorite thing, I knew I wanted to always serve joyfully. Not begrudgingly. Not forcing myself to be nice in rude environment, burnt more and more mental energy. I didn’t know how to say no either. My change oddly came unexpectedly when I left my church. ( for another post )

As I started at a new one, I decided to observe before jumping into ministries. Go against what I knew. By observing, I was able to filter out what I actually should be doing.

Example: One church I thought we were going to remain at. I was teaching to be in the choir. Choir had become like my midweek Bible study and served as a place for community for me, inside the church. I began to observe for four weeks.

Result: I noticed the choir director just liked to hear himself sing. No matter who was given a solo he would every time, end up singing the song. He wanted the music to be about him not God. This freed me. I didn’t want to be a part of things that don’t bring honor to God.

Fast-forward to now: I’m going to let someone else be team mom. It’s not that I don’t want to do it. There have been one too many negative interactions that change the way I feel about coming to support my child. The girls in general. To protect my long-term spirit of serving, I can use this for a break.

Learned: Just because I’m available doesn’t mean I should be serving. Maybe I should be resting, dwelling with Christ reading or spending time with family. yYou don’t have to hold up the world. I thought because it was in front of me. I was meant to take it all as my responsibility because I was capable. As someone once said “we want to give our best yes.”

If I have to be in a bad mood the whole time and can’t serve with balanced joy. It’s a no. The pain I endured to serve woke me up first. Now I’m obeying. Enjoy your week.